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\letter

Well fuck. Sunday was such an awful day. It started out all wrong.

In the afternoon, I was making a ``cultural care package'' for this�
fucked up 16 yr old kid I correspond with in New Jersey. He's smart as�
fuck, dyslexic, not out, lives at home (suburban hell, etc) and�
terrified. We talk via the FidoNet electronic mail thing. He doesn't�
sound dangerously scared anymore, which is something. So I'm making a�
tape of queer music (Bronski Beat, Smiths, rather basic stuff!) and I�
get all the way to the end, hours worth, and the fucking tape recorder�
wasn't working -- the whole tape has just noise on it. Fuck.

The I go out to eat. Stop at Deke's house, and have a giant argument�
over the stupidity/usefulness of protests, etc. Me, in a hypogylcemic�
buzz. Wrong decision. Also, Deke, my best friend, has been doing�
speed. He has for a long time, but only once every few months. Now�
he's doing it more and more, still not at the danger point though, and�
he's got a tweaky boyfriend. He's sticking it in his arm. I've told�
him what I think of it, but I won't moralize, and told him that too.

I told some people about my dillemma (when does it become ``my�
business''? Assuming the likely possiblity that his speed use will�
escalate to the bad point) and apparently, word got out. And I know I�
told too many people. I didn't know he was keeping it such a secret. I�
guess I didn't think about it enough, which makes me feel {\it�
terrible}. We had a very long, and intense conversatino about it. Not�
angry though, he realizes getting his ass in trouble was {\it not} my�
point, I was trying to figure out stuff on my own, when it leaked out.�
Now he's afraid that when his roommate Debby finds out, she's gonna�
kick him out. The whole thing is now very painful. Fuck.

Everything else is just fine, ha ha. Now it's Monday. I'm gonna go get�
some basic coming-out type books for this kid Jonathan and then mail�
him the package, and hope his fucking mother doesn't open it. (Luckily�
he's a computer geek, so I'll of course mark the package appropriately�
and I doubt there'll be any trouble.)

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PS: I don't think your friend George is my friend George. George did�
however just get back from Seattle. He seems to be doing pretty good.�
I'm glad, cuz I like him, he's wierd.
 \bye
