\input tex
\schoolboy
Dad --

Talked to Anne two weeks ago. Apparently her kid is due ``real soon�
now''. I haven't got her or the kid anything yet. Shit.

She told me about the visit with your mother and her calling Anne�
``Pam'' and all that. Anne was amused. She told me at first she was�
confused with your reaction, but figured out the story pretty quick.�
(She's not mad at you at all.) Wierd! Glad I wasn't there.

I've made moving plans -- to Albuquerque NM this May. Got back this�
week from scouting. I've got a busy work sched Feb, Mar, Apr; all�
radio station builds or rebuilds. It means a big burst of money, plus�
studio-build jobs is a powerful reference for future work. The move�
date may vary depending on this radio stuff.

About visiting me -- 

Look -- your mother could live a week or 20 years. (My friend Joey sez�
his evil grandmother lived to be 104!) I can only imagine the ties you�
and her have, but I think you should come here in spite of the fear,�
instead of waiting for it to go away. It won't. You have to go through�
it, now or later. Even if she up and dies the minute you leave�
Mass.~(not bloody fucking likely) it's not your responsibility.

I don't know what you think is here. In spite of it's reputation, San�
Francisco is a small town. The ``radical'' stuff doesn't require�
participation. There's lots of gay bars of all kinds and that sort of�
obvious stuff. There's also all kinds of more formal gay groups --�
including gay parents, with and/or without gay kids. If you care for�
such things. 

It is perfectly acceptable to identify yourself any damn way you�
please. It was very '70's to militantly demand straight vs.~gay�
identification. No one cares anymore (except as it pertains to�
possible dates\dots) and as a matter fact, ambiguity seems to be all�
the rage right now anyways. 

But you will find the most useful resources will be gay-identified,�
simply because gay people are doing all the hard work. Things that�
identify as ``straight'' usually carry all the old stupid prejudices�
like so much mystical baggage. Good riddance, I say.

Besides, in spite of probably thinking all of this as a terrible�
liability, I can tell you it's very high status for me to have a gay�
father (and vice versa).

If you're gonna visit me, it has to be before I move to Albuquerque.�
All the useful resources are here. Besides, it's 1500 miles from�
So.~Cal. 

I won't push you anymore. I'm afraid you'll simply have to do the�
classic ``coming out'' process, even if it's just for yourself, and�
you never tell anyone out there. At whatever speed or depth you�
desire. Believe me, the relief alone is worth it, and believe me, it's�
one of those things like gaining back lost sight or something that you�
can't know until you do it (sounds religious or something, oh well). 

\vskip\parskip
\centerline{Tom}

PS: Don't overlook the fact your car can get you laid probably as�
often as you want.

\bye
